the leaves of desire, everything become エッチ

想像の世界、本世界になる

times when  my nipples tingle and I long for a light caress, just barely brushing my hardness and nipples and lips - maybe a tale or two - and I come

and more frequently, when I long for the weight and skin, heaviness and sweat- - inside making her writhe, until she gasps about her impending death

 a rare pic of my own self..

more than just a little sex in the past few weeks - Jun is the most erotic and sexually driven person I've ever met. She liked all those dark sex fantasies and tales, very Japanese ero-guro, erotic/grotesque tales that reach right into the heart of the human animal.

want

i've been such a sexual fiend lately. Although I've been separated from the one (or two, or three!..) people I've had sexual contacts with, I feel like I've been having great sex. Although right now, I'm alone in my bed (or couch, or kitchen, or floor, or beach, or park, or subway car, and on and on). It still feels like I've been swapping saliva and sweat and more with someones.

i've been really feeling the sexual fetish thing lately. At a sex store in Ptown, the whips and belts made me itch to use them on someone. I've been looking at some of the weirder types of Japanese porn, and I find some of it really hot.

like the "lesbian rape bus," where a marauding bus full of mean lesbian girls stops at a regular bus stop and picks up an unsuspecting school girl. The girls on the bus then sexually haze the poor school girl, rape her, and spit in her face repeatedly. (the spitting is really hot) Now, with the Japanese legends of lesbian hazing (read some Murakami or Yoshimoto) putting the context of the spitting in place, it becomes hotter. I like the mean and bullying attitude of the girls on the bus. From both points of view, it's hot. It's all staged, but really well

i'm a switch.

this video makes me want several things:

a) to be sexually mean and controlling to some girl, spit in her face, fight her resistance, slap her face, and make her beg. (I need a kinky bottom)

b) to be sexually controlled by a group of incredibly mean (not spitting) gay men who make me give them serial blowjobs (yummy!)

c) to be sexually hazed by a group (or just one) of incredibly mean (spitting) girls (and I don't mean in every straight male's fantasy of being "serviced" by a zillion girls at one, but more of being slapped around and having other girls' pleasure matter more than my own)

d) to take some "unwilling" girl to an almost public place, and maybe use the public area to really humiliate her sexually.

e) remote controlled vibrator/egg on the subway?

f) candle wax. Me dripping it on someone.

g) that's not to mention my zelophilia and some other things I already know

yeah, I know bottoms like you exist out there. (the safe word is "milk") I guess I like being controlling to bottoms more then merely servicing them while they lie tied up. So if you think you're a good bottom because you're lazy and motionless, you're wrong! Resist! Beg! Beg! Resist!

leather? Not much as far as I know. Bondange: to take advantage of bottoms.

also: blood? Maybe..?

and some things I could never do: feces, urine, (my)anal penetration, animals, family.
More power to people who like that stuff though.
----

since my partner's pleasure matters so much to me, I'd better find the right people before exploring these things. Such a strange duality I have sometimes. Trust, yes, trust.

i want to lie on top of you, kiss your breasts gently,
please lick that space just behind and below my ear

In the Sam Delany's postscript to his Nevèrÿon series, he mentions how pernicious it might be to place value judgements on sexual/desire/love proclivities. I tend to agree with him. While non consentual sex is rape, and not good - who's to judge if you like fur, poop, bitten fingernails, or saliva? (I like saliva)

At first, Delany's characters all seem to have idiosyncratic sexual proclivities and attractions - but examining my own styles in the context of his work, I'm beginning to see that perhaps all humans have their several things, wether they know it or not..

Also, that desire is less base, but as valid an emotion as any other, love, peace, anger, happiness.

Me, for example. I like all the usual things people like in boys and girls, but I also like some very specific things.

Not that I *only* like what is below. It is kind of surprising what I am emotionally/sexually attracted to.

I like girls with a very idiosyncratic way of dressing. So sexy.
I like girls whose breasts point outwards. Now, almost all girls' breasts point outwards, but some far more than others. More than just the nipples, the breasts themselves. Oh, but not *too too* much. Breast size?

Certianly is is rare for me to like girls with breasts as big as her's above. But then again, they are turned outwards...!

I am Brazilian, so curves matter.

And girls with a big contrast between their skin colour, hair colour, and clothing colour: turns me on too much.
And girls with rounded shoulders. A girl in a tanktop with soft shoulders and outpointing breasts, stylish in her own way...I'd judder and die with sexual and emotional desire.

In boys, I like boys who wear rumpled and stylish clothes. Like they went to a party last night and today they're wearing the same thing. A slight hint of roughness to the face - and all importantly, some subtle vunerability matched by slight *slight* cockiness.

Harder to check out boys' penis shape than girls' breast shape, but curcumscised boys really turn me on.

koishii

Really, I just want to kiss her more.
She was so tall, so healthy, so beautiful.

Our kisses were shy, like trembling leaves and sunlit rain.

Too bad she flew home to Japan the next morning.
At least, according to her email, like mine, she is :koishii:
as am I

symmetry

I really love sexual symmetry. What I mean is like say, when for example, my ex-lover really loved her breasts being touched, massaged, held. I really love breasts, just love them! What beautiful symmetry.

Or when my friend Corrie could come just by having her ears licked..I love ears...

Or me, any my various body parts..
Symmetry is nice.

snowball

I love the taste of cum.
If you ever go down on me, let's snowball..mmm sexy..

that's me, going down on a model of myself..

consentual rape

i want to grab your wrists and pry you open, force my body into yours. you, fighting with all your strength, closing your legs, hiding your breasts.
i want to force you open, pry you apart and violently fuck you. force my face onto your breasts, my cock into you, my hands on your wrists.
fight me.

cocks in porn

I just love looking at beautiful cocks. You'd think there would be a million pics of beautiful cocks online, but there aren't. the free gay porn is just really badly done, and I'd rather look at just a hot cock than someone's mouth and a cock.

straight porn is a little easier, because the production values seem to be higher. also, all those pics of smiling faces next to hard cocks, not sucking, but just posing rather fake-like. then I can concentrate on that awesome instrument, that oh-so-hard-but-oh-so-velvety cock.

know any good places to go?

this morning

I woke up this morning with a strong and violent desire to lick somebody.